I believe that an effective society has a strong public education system, that its members engage in the pursuit of truth, and that its values centre around a functioning democracy. I am very concerned about all three of my strongly held beliefs today, as they seem to be disintegrating before my eyes.
I believe in a strong public education system. I believe it is intrinsically worthwhile to ensure that everyone has access to a quality education, no matter what kind of wealth they may or may not have. Maintaining a good public education system not only ensures that our population can read, write and understand their finances, but it also creates a population that is be able to critically examine events and use knowledge to solve problems. It creates a population that is able to contribute meaningfully to our democratic society. You don't have to look too far in the world to see that countries with no or a poor public education system are suffering. There is greater poverty, more violent crime and very little critical thinking. It is because of my belief in the value of public education, that I cannot fathom why anyone would want to destroy it-which is what it seems our provincial government is intent in doing. If you don't believe our British Columbia Government is out to undermine public education, then you are not paying attention. Government subsidies to Private schools has increased 45.6 % since 2005. Whereas, public schools have had to make cuts to keep up with inflation and increased costs to overhead. The government is not being dishonest when it says it has increased spending for public education, however, they have not increased it enough to cover new, inflated costs, and certainly not to the same degree as the funding for Private Schools. Another way our government has been undermining public education is their continual attempts to break the British Columbia Teachers Union, public education's biggest advocate, at all costs. Before some of you scoff at the notion that the BCTF is public educations biggest advocate on the basis that they use strike action to put pressure on the government, I ask you this: WHO else stands on street corners with signs that ask for more money for special needs students? WHO else gives up salary so that maybe, just maybe someone will pay attention to the fact that students need more one on one attention? WHO else writes countless letters, blogs, and articles explaining what their classrooms are like with too many students, too many needs and too many students not getting the support they need? WHO else is talking about how to make our schools better????? WHO else would have the first hand knowledge to know HOW to make our schools better? Every time there is a disruption to schools, more students go to the private sector. If a government wanted students to go to the private sector, wouldn't they ensure there were continual and lengthy disruptions in the public school system? I know some of you are still stuck on the "teachers are greedy and militant" mantra that has been repeated often throughout the media, and are probably blaming teachers for the disruption, but consider this: in 2012 The BC Supreme Court found the Provincial government bargained in bad faith due to the fact that they deliberately "provoked" a strike for political gain. Private education costs the government less because parents pay half the costs out of their own pocket. If a government was intent on keeping down costs of education, wouldn't it make sense to fund private more, and public less? Making public schools undesirable sends people to private-unless you can't afford it. Then, you have to settle for a less than adequate public system- which is just plain wrong, and does little to promote a well educated society.
I believe in truth. Truth can be a tricky concept for some. My truth may be different from your truth. Experiences can change, alter or even discount many truths. For example, many people at one time believed it to be true that the world was flat, but of course we now know that the truth is that it is not. The truth I believe in is KNOWING truth. That is, I believe in telling what I KNOW to be true. That is to say, saying something you KNOW to be untrue is wrong. This includes misleading others for sake of your own personal gain. For example, when Minister Fastbender explained why his government had not negotiated all summer with the BCTF, he said the reason was because the BCTF was in Kamloops. First of all, the only truth stated here is that the BCTF were, on that particular day, in Kamloops. The summer has been long. Even if it was true that the BCTF was unavailable for a few days in August ( which they were not... have you ever heard of conference calls? or Skype?) What happened to the rest of the summer? Mr. Fastbender KNOWS that the BCTF was available all summer, but chose to mislead the public so that the public would believe that he was available "24/7," whereas the BCTF, had the nerve to frolic in Kamloops. Or, another example of this constant "mistruths" is when our premier stated that she wanted a long term deal with the teachers so that we don't have to bicker about "wages" every few years. She knows better than anyone, that the biggest stumbling block to bargaining since 2002 was her, now deemed illegal, legislation that took away the BCTF's right to negotiate class size and composition ratios. Now, believe what you want about the effectiveness of strict ratios to determine class size and composition( I personally believe that classes were easier to manage with these ratios, which translated to better learning), but that legislation left a 275 million dollar hole in the education budget every year since then. There are way too many "untruths" to list here, but here is the most important lie of all: the government's real motives for only agreeing to mediation with pre-conditions. They say they will agree to mediation but the parties are "too far apart. " When actually, the biggest problem with mediation is the government's "pre-conditions." The BCTF has no conditions. They just want mediation. Does the government not trust Vince Ready to be fair in his recommendations? I will talk more about these conditions and why the BCTF would never agree to them later, but if they want the BCTF to agree to their terms, and they want the BCTF to sign something they don't agree with, how is this different from legislation? I personally think, and this is my truth: THEY DONT WANT AN AGREEMENT, THEY WANT TO BANKRUPT THE BCTF AND ITS MEMBERS. If they put teachers on the brink of bankruptcy, they will agree to anything to get back to work, wont they? Who cares about the students who are supposed to be in school! Lets get those teachers! Funny how they don't mention their real "true" motives for not meeting and imposing "preconditions" to mediation in press conferences.
I believe in democracy. I believe in it even though it is not efficient-it takes time and effort. For starters, it means voting and electing leaders, which take time and money. But democracy doesn't end once the election is over. Just because a person or group of people are voted in does not mean that the job of upholding democracy is done. It means taking time to respect all points of view. It means taking time to make sure you consider the rights and freedoms of others. It means making laws in a democratic fashion-which means that laws cannot be oppressive or infringe on rights and freedoms of others. It also means taking time to ensure that there is a system in place to keep the values of democracy alive-that is to say, to make sure that people respect the values of democracy in both their actions and speech. One person, or one group of people cannot just impose their will on the whole because they believe it to be the best course of action. They have to follow the democratically created laws. In short, even those democratically elected cannot do whatever they want. I am proud to live in a democratic country, but I am angry that these values are currently being mocked by the British Columbia Government.
In 2002, then Education Minister, Christy Clark, did something that imposed on the rights of the BCTF to collectively bargain their contract: She created a law that disallowed the bargaining of class size and composition. This law essentially stripped any language that was previously collectively bargained by the BCTF and disallowed any further bargaining around class size and composition. Luckily, we live in a democratic society, and we have the courts to ensure that our democratic principles of rights and freedoms are observed, so the BCTF took the BC government to court. And won. The BC government did indeed overstep their authority by contradicting The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms and were given one year to remedy it. They were told the law they created was invalid. THEY DID NOT APPEAL THIS DECISION. Instead, they chose to ignore it and create a virtually identical law in its stead. Luckily, we live in a democratic society, and the BCTF took the BC government to court again. And again, the BCTF won. Only this time, the government was ordered to pay the BCTF $2 million dollars, and were found to be bargaining in "bad faith." It was found that part of their strategy in dealing with the BCTF labour dispute was to provoke teachers to go on strike so that the public would support back-to-work legislation. For the second court case the government decided to use their democratic right to appeal. As I said, I believe in democracy, so it is certainly within their rights to appeal. However, when one uses their power to undermine any outcome of any court proceeding IN ADVANCE, you are undermining the very foundation of that system they swore to uphold when they were elected. One of the preconditions to mediation is in fact that should the appeal process not go in either parties favour, either party has the right to rip up the agreement and start fresh. The BCTF would never want to rip up the collective agreement. The government has an endless supply of money (your money in the form of tax dollars) to pursue countless collective bargaining sessions, with a variety of high paid lawyers. The BCTF does not. The government knows this. If the BCTF were to agree to this precondition, they would basically be saying that it doesn't matter what the court says. And, it could potentially bankrupt them. Essentially, it is a clause that guarantees the BCTF will not sign the contract. Not only is the provincial government mocking the democratic process as demonstrated in the courts but it is showing its sinister motives. The biggest obstacle in getting their way in dismantling public education as we know it, is the BCTF. Breaking them, is their primary goal.
The opposite of democracy is Tyranny. When are we all going to wake up and stop talking about teachers wages and summers off and see the real threat: a government who uses and abuses democracy as a way to achieve their own narcissistic, sinister agenda. I also wonder, if we don't stand up now and say this not right, what will happen to us as a society when public education ceases to be important, truth is ignored and democracy is dead. We, as British Columbians and Canadians, citizens of a democratic society, need to stand up and say this is not acceptable!
I believe it will be worth it.
Tuesday, 26 August 2014
Saturday, 12 May 2012
Crazy Mom Enters a New Decade
Of course it is just a date. It just happens to be a date that officially puts me in a new age category. When I turned 30 I had a party. Heck, I think I even drank some shooters. I had no kids, no house, and no grey hair. I had very little concern for my overall health. Things were very different. As I enter my 40's I think I am a little bit wiser, a lot more responsible and about 300% healthier.
My 30's were full of obvious life lessons. The arrival of my children and the emergence of Crazy Mom were only part of these lessons. In this vain, I have created a list.
Some of the things I have learned in the last 10 years (in no particular order):
1. Don't poke the bear. It is unwise and benefits no one. Dealing with volatile, unpredictable, and unstable people is tricky business. Be calm. Appreciate the times when things are calm. Do not use this time to prove that a person is indeed unstable, because, well, this is something that is already known. Best course of action: Leave the bear alone.
2. I create my own drama. I actually don't like being involved in Soap Opera- like drama. If I feel myself being dramatic, I need to stop. Few things are as personal as I make them out to be. Bad things happen. Tragedy happens. Drama is created. It does not make me happy.
3. There is always something to work on. Whether it is personal, professional, financial or any other possible difficulty, there are always problems to solve. My father always tells me that life is all up hill. He is right. No one coasts through life. Accepting this helps in dealing with the inevitable "problems."
4. I don't NEED 8 hours of sleep every night. 6 hours is fine. 7 is a bonus and 8 is a luxury. Thanks to my children for teaching me this.
5. Exercise can be fun. It can also be painful. But, the end result always feels good.
6. I hate politics. I used to believe politics could be used to make a better world. In the last decade I have realised that more I was involved in politics, whether it was being engaged in a political conversation, or just being involved in the union, the less happy I was. Paradigms shift, the balance of power changes, but true change comes from within yourself. True change is neither left nor right.
Other things I now believe to be true:
1. Elitism is just as bad as racism.
2. Arrogance and selfishness is the root of 90% of the evil in the world (the other 10% is just plain stupidity)
3. You can't have everything.
4. Kids are hope.
5. I really do have the best husband and children a woman can ask for- (even if they make me crazy).
6. Being crazy is the new form of sanity.
My 30's were full of obvious life lessons. The arrival of my children and the emergence of Crazy Mom were only part of these lessons. In this vain, I have created a list.
Some of the things I have learned in the last 10 years (in no particular order):
1. Don't poke the bear. It is unwise and benefits no one. Dealing with volatile, unpredictable, and unstable people is tricky business. Be calm. Appreciate the times when things are calm. Do not use this time to prove that a person is indeed unstable, because, well, this is something that is already known. Best course of action: Leave the bear alone.
2. I create my own drama. I actually don't like being involved in Soap Opera- like drama. If I feel myself being dramatic, I need to stop. Few things are as personal as I make them out to be. Bad things happen. Tragedy happens. Drama is created. It does not make me happy.
3. There is always something to work on. Whether it is personal, professional, financial or any other possible difficulty, there are always problems to solve. My father always tells me that life is all up hill. He is right. No one coasts through life. Accepting this helps in dealing with the inevitable "problems."
4. I don't NEED 8 hours of sleep every night. 6 hours is fine. 7 is a bonus and 8 is a luxury. Thanks to my children for teaching me this.
5. Exercise can be fun. It can also be painful. But, the end result always feels good.
6. I hate politics. I used to believe politics could be used to make a better world. In the last decade I have realised that more I was involved in politics, whether it was being engaged in a political conversation, or just being involved in the union, the less happy I was. Paradigms shift, the balance of power changes, but true change comes from within yourself. True change is neither left nor right.
Other things I now believe to be true:
1. Elitism is just as bad as racism.
2. Arrogance and selfishness is the root of 90% of the evil in the world (the other 10% is just plain stupidity)
3. You can't have everything.
4. Kids are hope.
5. I really do have the best husband and children a woman can ask for- (even if they make me crazy).
6. Being crazy is the new form of sanity.
Wednesday, 14 March 2012
Little Lies and Political Spin
I listen to the radio and I hear them. I open my local newspaper and I read them. I can't get away from them. What am I talking about? I am of course talking about the BC Governments facts about Bill 22 and their "Education Plan." Why would the BC government bother with the truth when they have their "facts." I have already posted the BCTF's rebuttal to these facts, but I am finding it increasingly alarming how often these little lies are being repeated. One of the most ridiculous of these lies they call facts is that class size limits are going to remain in effect. Last week Education Minister George Abott incredulously announced that School Boards would be paying teachers who have classes over 30 more money ( money would be paid for each student over 30). Please explain to me how there can be class size limits if they are already planning for classes over 30. Apparently George Abbot has not heard about my husband's idea of putting all Grade 4 students in the province in BC PLACE and hire one teacher. THINK of the cost savings!!!!!!
If the government was truly being honest they would have to say that the entire motivation behind Bill 22 and the non- attempt at contract negotiations was to control teachers and discredit the BCTF. Now, I am sure that wouldn't make them sound as good as making the teachers sound like unreasonable, greedy, lazy people who CLEARLY don't know what it takes to make a sound education plan. Why would a group of people who spend a minimum of 5 years in University with one of those years entirely dedicated to learning sound educational principles know anything about education? Not to mention the fact that many of us ( myself included) have spent 2 or more years further studying research and theories behind educational principles. But of course how many years we all went to school is a moot point because the motivation for all of these ads is clearly not to make a better public education system. The motivation is control. They want to be able to change things as they see fit. They don't want to have to deal with contracts and the rights teachers have collectively bargained in the past. I wonder what would happen if we gave private sector businesses who deal with unions the right to strip contracts as they see fit.
Clearly the BC governments budget for advertising is large. Obviously, it is bigger than what they intend to spend on raises. It is almost like they are campaigning against the BCTF. Instead of campaigning against the NDP and BC Conservatives they are wasting our valuable tax dollars trying to convince, me, you and everyone else that teachers are the problem in our education system. If they could only convince everyone in BC, they would surely be elected for yet another term. Here is some news for you BC Liberals. WE DON'T WANT YOUR JOB. We WANT YOU TO DO YOURS. And your job, by the way, is NOT to contradict labour laws, ignore Supreme Court Rulings and basically attempt to crush unions in BC as a means to get the conservative vote that may be switching to supporting the BC Conservative Party.
The irony of these ads is that the government presents them as "the truth." I am saddened that many will believe them, and many won't even care to read into the political spin. Mostly, though, I am sad that my children will be entering school at a time when our government's priorities are controlling teachers instead of enhancing education.
If the government was truly being honest they would have to say that the entire motivation behind Bill 22 and the non- attempt at contract negotiations was to control teachers and discredit the BCTF. Now, I am sure that wouldn't make them sound as good as making the teachers sound like unreasonable, greedy, lazy people who CLEARLY don't know what it takes to make a sound education plan. Why would a group of people who spend a minimum of 5 years in University with one of those years entirely dedicated to learning sound educational principles know anything about education? Not to mention the fact that many of us ( myself included) have spent 2 or more years further studying research and theories behind educational principles. But of course how many years we all went to school is a moot point because the motivation for all of these ads is clearly not to make a better public education system. The motivation is control. They want to be able to change things as they see fit. They don't want to have to deal with contracts and the rights teachers have collectively bargained in the past. I wonder what would happen if we gave private sector businesses who deal with unions the right to strip contracts as they see fit.
Clearly the BC governments budget for advertising is large. Obviously, it is bigger than what they intend to spend on raises. It is almost like they are campaigning against the BCTF. Instead of campaigning against the NDP and BC Conservatives they are wasting our valuable tax dollars trying to convince, me, you and everyone else that teachers are the problem in our education system. If they could only convince everyone in BC, they would surely be elected for yet another term. Here is some news for you BC Liberals. WE DON'T WANT YOUR JOB. We WANT YOU TO DO YOURS. And your job, by the way, is NOT to contradict labour laws, ignore Supreme Court Rulings and basically attempt to crush unions in BC as a means to get the conservative vote that may be switching to supporting the BC Conservative Party.
The irony of these ads is that the government presents them as "the truth." I am saddened that many will believe them, and many won't even care to read into the political spin. Mostly, though, I am sad that my children will be entering school at a time when our government's priorities are controlling teachers instead of enhancing education.
Friday, 9 March 2012
Ministry of Education "Facts"
Get your facts straight—BCTF rebuttal to Ministry of Education ‘Facts’
The left column of the table shows the statements made by the Ministry of Education in the Information Bulletin, March 3, 2012 titled BCTF Claims and Facts.
| The right column of the table shows the BCTF response to each of the ministry ‘fact’ statements. Ministry of Education statements from Information Bulletin March 3, 2012 | BCTF Response to ministry ‘facts’ |
| Claim: 700 fewer Special Needs teachers FACT: 2,100 additional special needs teaching assistants in B.C. classrooms. | BCTF analysis of ministry data shows that since 2001-02 there are: 2,601 fewer FTE teachers, including a loss of 752 FTE Special Education teachers 2,029 more FTE Education Assistants in all programs, including Special Education Education assistants replacing teachers is not adequate for special needs students. |
| Claim: Ninth-best paid in Canada FACT: B.C. teachers' salary plus benefits is fourth-best among provinces. | BCTF uses current salary figures (2011-12) for Category 5 and Category 6 from salary grids in teacher collective agreements across Canada. Based on this comparison: The maximum salary for a BC teacher with Category 5 qualifications ranks 9th in Canada, including the provinces and territories. Based on provinces only, the rank shifts to 6th among the ten provinces. BCPSEA uses out-dated data and manipulates the rankings by comparing a teacher at Category 4 salary with fewer qualifications, in Alberta, Saskatchewan and Quebec, to a BC teacher with Category 5 qualifications. |
| Claim: Seniority eroded under Bill 22—Education Improvement Act FACT: Seniority remains key factor but qualifications also considered. Math teachers teaching Math; Science teachers teaching Science. | Existing contracts already provide for qualifications and experience to be considered first, before seniority. |
| Claim: Contract demands are reasonable FACT: A 15 per cent wage increase at a cost of $2 billion is completely unreasonable, given the current economic reality. | The ministry is exaggerating the cost of a salary increase by five times the actual cost. Even BCPSEA estimates the cost of a 15% salary increase over 3 years at $431 million, according to their February 27, 2012 Information Sheet. Teachers across Canada have negotiated salary increases to cover the cost of inflation. Why is it only the BC government that claims they cannot afford a cost of living increase for teachers? |
Get your facts straight—BCTF rebuttal to Ministry of Education ‘Facts’
The left column of the table shows the statements made by the Ministry of Education in the Information Bulletin, March 3, 2012 titled BCTF Claims and Facts.
| The right column of the table shows the BCTF response to each of the ministry ‘fact’ statements. Ministry of Education statements from Information Bulletin March 3, 2012 | BCTF Response to ministry ‘facts’ |
| Claim: Eliminated class sizes FACT: Class-size caps on all grades with exceptions made by principals and superintendents. | Bill 22: Removes the involvement of teachers in the organization of their classes by repealing the requirement for teacher consultation. Ensures larger classes in Grades 4 to 7 because it removes the previous requirement of teacher consent. Removes parent involvement in the organization of classes by repealing the requirement that the principal consult with parent councils about class size at the beginning of the school year. Eliminates public transparency and accountability by repealing the requirement that the superintendent provide a report to school trustees in a public meeting about class sizes in the district. |
| Claim: Reject net-zero wage mandate FACT: 130 net-zero contracts signed. 25,000 CUPE employees signed net zero contracts. | Between November 2010 and July 2011, BC Bargaining Settlements Bulletins shows 36 municipal and federal public sector settlements in BC with annual wage and salary increases ranging from 1% to 3% for 2011, 2012, and 2013. |
| Claim: Teachers have not been fairly compensated FACT: Teachers received a 16 per cent wage increase; $3,700 signing bonus for their last contract. | If BC teachers do not receive a salary increase for 2011–12, a Vancouver teacher at maximum salary (Cat. 5) will earn: $13,529 less than an elementary teacher in Toronto, $14,463 less than a secondary teacher in Ottawa, $21,001 less than a teacher in Edmonton |
| Claim: 12,000 overcrowded classes FACT: Of 65,000 classes, fewer than 1,500 have more than 31 students. Fewer than 600 have more than 33 - most of these are band, choir and theatre. | Bill 22 removes: The limit of three students designated with special needs per class. The right of teachers to be consulted about classes with more than 30 students. Class size issues need to put in the context of class composition – the more complex the needs of students, the more difficult it is to meet the needs of all students, especially when classes are over-crowded. Ministry statistics show: 3,627 Grade 4 to 12 classes with more than 30 students in 2010-11. 12,240 classes exceeded the legislated limit of 3 designated special needs students in 2010-11. |
Thursday, 10 November 2011
Crazy Mom
It all started after lunch. Of course, it really ALL started the day my husband and I actually decided we were going to have children, but that is going back too far. After lunch today I had a realization. I know why all moms are crazy now. And yes, we are ALL crazy. I knew this before.
Oh stop protesting Moms out there. You know I am right. Just think about how many times you think, "Before I had children I could speak intelligently about current events (not the pros and cons of toilet training before 2) or remember seven different languages (not the words to the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song) or actually have a complete thought before another thought or child interrupts, or remember what I was going all the way upstairs to retrieve...".you get the idea. You are not the same. Of course those of you who still think you are the same are proving my point once again. You are so far in denial, you must be crazy. For those who are thinking, what makes you think we are crazy? Maybe everyone else is crazy and we are normal!" I say, whatever makes you feel better, girlfriend!
As I said, I knew this craziness existed before I had children, but for some reason I thought I was going to be different. I have long since realized that before I had children I didn't know ANYTHING about parenting, even though, I had many opinions about it. It is much easier to know ABOUT something than to actually experience it. I long for those days of superior and logical thought. Oh, I was SO smart. Sigh.
But back to lunch, or after lunch. Actually, I was wrong. This started before lunch at the Running Room. I was at the Running Room with my children to engage in a purely selfish act: buy myself a new pair of running shoes. Now, the fact that we went during what is normally the kid’s time to go to the park or something else they would like to do is important. But in my defense, going for a jog 3 times a week for 45 minutes or so is the only time I am by myself and quite frankly, it is the only time of the week that I begin to feel a little saner. My current running shoes, let’s just say, have been used well and when I got an e-mail informing me of that my $169 shoes were on sale for $129, I just had to go.
So, this outing was 100% about me. Here is the thing: in this world of motherhood, this is just not allowed. Keep in mind, this is Crazy Mom talking and it would be best if you read this in a whisper, but here is an unknown piece of information for you: every selfish act you commit while you are a mother comes back to haunt you tenfold. See what did I tell you? Crazy right?
The very fact that as I write this, as some sort of Mommy therapy, while my children dismantle the house, is yet another selfish act. Currently my daughter has taken every single book off the shelf and thrown them on the floor, a bucket of crayons and felts and pencil crayons have also been dumped on the floor and my son has taken all the cushions off the couch and is standing behind me with a silly smile on his face. Every time I look back he laughs at me. Now he is in a full blown laugh. I think he is trying to get my attention. I think I should give it to him. Not because I will be inducting some sort of Mommy bad karma, but because kids need attention and if I didn't want to give kids attention I wouldn't have had kids, right? RIGHT??????
Before I go any farther on my day of realization I think I should point out that I love my children. They are the best thing I have ever created. They are funny, cute, interesting and truly a joy to be around. They make me smile every day and help me see things I had totally forgotten about. For instance, I forgot how fun it was to run through the fall leaves and feel raindrops on my face. They taught me that. The children themselves are perfect. It is Crazy Mom that is the problem.
I enter the Running Room with my children. The sales person greets us and gives the obligatory "Aren't you cute?" to the kids. It usually starts this way. Then my son torpedoes around the store, knocking over a stack of shoe boxes and shoes spill everywhere. This startles the sales person as they run to clean this up while asking, "Can I help you find something?" This is the good and bad thing about going into a store with my children. If one can get over the embarrassment of one's children destroying the place, you really do get quick service. One time on a quest to get a wedding gift, I walked into the fine china department of The Bay with kid 1 and kid 2, who were, quite frankly quite tired of shopping and eager to run around. There was a salesperson at my side within 10 seconds. Then she told me to stay put, snatched the Bridal registry out of my hand and called over her shoulder as she ran away "I'll bring things to you and you can choose! Stay right there!" And sure enough she spent the next 20 minutes bringing me things from the list until I chose what I wanted. Easiest shopping I have ever done.
Back at the Running Room the sales person quickly goes to the back, grabs my shoe and drops it in front of me.
"Should I try them on?" I say.
"NO! I mean, no, I am sure they are fine, if they are not, bring them back."
So I complete my transaction, quite satisfied with my purchase and my indulgence for the day and happy my children only took apart one display, knocked all the power bars on the floor, and left 20 or so socks in a pile on the floor. So we head home for lunch.
Remember how I said all selfish acts come back to haunt you? Well here it is. Diarrhea. My son is toilet trained, but can be prone to leaving it to the very last minute to make his way to the bathroom (which often leaves my bathroom smelling something like a public urinal). This practice does not work well when one has diarrhea. So here it is. My selfish act of making my children go with me to buy shoes for myself has come back to haunt me. After I clean up the assortment of bodily fluid from the floor, toilet seat, and yes, the wall, put my son's clothes in the wash and retrieve him some clean ones, I look for my lovely daughter. She is standing on the kitchen table with her sippy cup in the air saying, "Mama, ooose!" This is when she tosses her cup into the air with glee. The top of the sippy cup, of course, does not hold and now there is apple juice sinking into the carpet. I grab my daughter from the table, put her down on the floor, grab a cloth from the sink, and turn back around to the puddle of juice to see both my children dancing happily in the puddle. I sigh. I take of their socks, tell them to "Go to the toy room!" and attempt to clean up the mess. I return to the kitchen to wring out the cloth, but as I am doing that my son, who wants to help has dragged a roll of toilet paper to the spot and is dabbing it on the carpet. I take the TP away with a stern look and point him to the toy room. He looks at me with the saddest look ever and wanders away.
This is when the realization happens. I am not haunted by these selfish acts. I am haunted by the GUILT I feel from those selfish acts. I am not being punished. My kids are just being themselves. I was told once that you choose to feel guilty. I am going to try my best to make a better choice. Of course, this might make me crazy er... I mean crazier.
Oh stop protesting Moms out there. You know I am right. Just think about how many times you think, "Before I had children I could speak intelligently about current events (not the pros and cons of toilet training before 2) or remember seven different languages (not the words to the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song) or actually have a complete thought before another thought or child interrupts, or remember what I was going all the way upstairs to retrieve...".you get the idea. You are not the same. Of course those of you who still think you are the same are proving my point once again. You are so far in denial, you must be crazy. For those who are thinking, what makes you think we are crazy? Maybe everyone else is crazy and we are normal!" I say, whatever makes you feel better, girlfriend!
As I said, I knew this craziness existed before I had children, but for some reason I thought I was going to be different. I have long since realized that before I had children I didn't know ANYTHING about parenting, even though, I had many opinions about it. It is much easier to know ABOUT something than to actually experience it. I long for those days of superior and logical thought. Oh, I was SO smart. Sigh.
But back to lunch, or after lunch. Actually, I was wrong. This started before lunch at the Running Room. I was at the Running Room with my children to engage in a purely selfish act: buy myself a new pair of running shoes. Now, the fact that we went during what is normally the kid’s time to go to the park or something else they would like to do is important. But in my defense, going for a jog 3 times a week for 45 minutes or so is the only time I am by myself and quite frankly, it is the only time of the week that I begin to feel a little saner. My current running shoes, let’s just say, have been used well and when I got an e-mail informing me of that my $169 shoes were on sale for $129, I just had to go.
So, this outing was 100% about me. Here is the thing: in this world of motherhood, this is just not allowed. Keep in mind, this is Crazy Mom talking and it would be best if you read this in a whisper, but here is an unknown piece of information for you: every selfish act you commit while you are a mother comes back to haunt you tenfold. See what did I tell you? Crazy right?
The very fact that as I write this, as some sort of Mommy therapy, while my children dismantle the house, is yet another selfish act. Currently my daughter has taken every single book off the shelf and thrown them on the floor, a bucket of crayons and felts and pencil crayons have also been dumped on the floor and my son has taken all the cushions off the couch and is standing behind me with a silly smile on his face. Every time I look back he laughs at me. Now he is in a full blown laugh. I think he is trying to get my attention. I think I should give it to him. Not because I will be inducting some sort of Mommy bad karma, but because kids need attention and if I didn't want to give kids attention I wouldn't have had kids, right? RIGHT??????
Before I go any farther on my day of realization I think I should point out that I love my children. They are the best thing I have ever created. They are funny, cute, interesting and truly a joy to be around. They make me smile every day and help me see things I had totally forgotten about. For instance, I forgot how fun it was to run through the fall leaves and feel raindrops on my face. They taught me that. The children themselves are perfect. It is Crazy Mom that is the problem.
I enter the Running Room with my children. The sales person greets us and gives the obligatory "Aren't you cute?" to the kids. It usually starts this way. Then my son torpedoes around the store, knocking over a stack of shoe boxes and shoes spill everywhere. This startles the sales person as they run to clean this up while asking, "Can I help you find something?" This is the good and bad thing about going into a store with my children. If one can get over the embarrassment of one's children destroying the place, you really do get quick service. One time on a quest to get a wedding gift, I walked into the fine china department of The Bay with kid 1 and kid 2, who were, quite frankly quite tired of shopping and eager to run around. There was a salesperson at my side within 10 seconds. Then she told me to stay put, snatched the Bridal registry out of my hand and called over her shoulder as she ran away "I'll bring things to you and you can choose! Stay right there!" And sure enough she spent the next 20 minutes bringing me things from the list until I chose what I wanted. Easiest shopping I have ever done.
Back at the Running Room the sales person quickly goes to the back, grabs my shoe and drops it in front of me.
"Should I try them on?" I say.
"NO! I mean, no, I am sure they are fine, if they are not, bring them back."
So I complete my transaction, quite satisfied with my purchase and my indulgence for the day and happy my children only took apart one display, knocked all the power bars on the floor, and left 20 or so socks in a pile on the floor. So we head home for lunch.
Remember how I said all selfish acts come back to haunt you? Well here it is. Diarrhea. My son is toilet trained, but can be prone to leaving it to the very last minute to make his way to the bathroom (which often leaves my bathroom smelling something like a public urinal). This practice does not work well when one has diarrhea. So here it is. My selfish act of making my children go with me to buy shoes for myself has come back to haunt me. After I clean up the assortment of bodily fluid from the floor, toilet seat, and yes, the wall, put my son's clothes in the wash and retrieve him some clean ones, I look for my lovely daughter. She is standing on the kitchen table with her sippy cup in the air saying, "Mama, ooose!" This is when she tosses her cup into the air with glee. The top of the sippy cup, of course, does not hold and now there is apple juice sinking into the carpet. I grab my daughter from the table, put her down on the floor, grab a cloth from the sink, and turn back around to the puddle of juice to see both my children dancing happily in the puddle. I sigh. I take of their socks, tell them to "Go to the toy room!" and attempt to clean up the mess. I return to the kitchen to wring out the cloth, but as I am doing that my son, who wants to help has dragged a roll of toilet paper to the spot and is dabbing it on the carpet. I take the TP away with a stern look and point him to the toy room. He looks at me with the saddest look ever and wanders away.
This is when the realization happens. I am not haunted by these selfish acts. I am haunted by the GUILT I feel from those selfish acts. I am not being punished. My kids are just being themselves. I was told once that you choose to feel guilty. I am going to try my best to make a better choice. Of course, this might make me crazy er... I mean crazier.
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